Going to Volunteer

Exercised today…doing this boot camp video, trying to get skinny. That’s the new thing, right? I see a little difference and only been doing it for like a week. Yesterday I bought a bike at a church yard for only 60 bucks. Can’t get any better than that? Hey, it’s a recession and money is tight. I haven’t exercised in like six months because I was obsessed with my book (and still am). I edited it twice and sent in out to over 35 agents and publishers last week.   

Now we play the waiting game…oh how do I hate the waiting game. Last week out of that 35, I got two rejects. And that’s ok. One of them stung a little because it simply said “No, thanks.” I was like son of a bitch! I would have rather received a generic rejection letter like usual. As the days go on, I am wondering and doubting whether my book will stand against the rest. Doubt, its evil head is rearing.

Every day it seems to get harder and harder to accept the fact that my book may never be published. And that kind of makes me sad, it actually makes me angry and sad times two. Everyone keeps saying don’t give up and persevere but its like how many query letters can I send out before I exhaust all my resources?

Ergh…it’s mentally frustrating. My life right now is frustrating to say the least. I called my mom up and told her that something was missing. And I didn’t know what. She told me that she was still searching for it too. The thing is that I don’t want to spend my life searching for myself. Or that missing piece. I am only 23.

I probably sound ungrateful. I am ungrateful to say the least. Not everything is going right in my life and I am having regrets about certain decisions I’ve made but I am alive. And isn’t that the best of things to have? It is. I know that I need to stop over thinking things and stop trying to over achieve and go with the flow. And figure out how to start fresh and start again if necessary. As people we need to learn how to make mistakes, deal with the consequences and bounce back even stronger than before.

Everything won’t go how we want it to. Plans are meant to be changed.

So recently, I have been wanting to volunteer my writing services and fell upon an article on how to lend my services for a good use. The article told me how to go about and find different organizations and how to approach them and possibly volunteer. So that’s my goal for the weekend. No editing. No worrying about my weight or how life isn’t going my way but how to help others with the gifts God gave me.

Much Love,

The Juicy Details

xoxox