Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Self-Fulfilling Prophecy: How Much Do You Want it?

I have about 30 minutes left until I head for work. I went to bed at 1:30 in the morning. I was editing my book of course and trying to spend a little time with my husband watching a horrible Angelina Jolie movie. But mostly editing. I got up this morning at 9:40 A.M. and brushed my teeth.

            I told my husband that I was going to get some quarters from the bank and grab some stamps from the Post Office. I went to the Post Office and they made me angry for making me wait longer than I had to. I drove past the bank and got some quarters to wash a load of clothes.

            I threw the load of dirty clothes in and went to making dinner. I wanted to do all this and edit at least ten pages of my book. I did that and now I’m on my way to work. Do I want to do all this? No. Do I have to do all this? No. Do I know that in the back of my head that doing this will get me ready for what I want to do in the future? Yes.

            Everyday I wake up and go to sleep asking myself how much do I want it? I also see myself doing what I love to do. Bringing back some psychology 101, we learned about something called the self-fulfilling prophecy. It’s a simple concept and stupid at the same time. If it’s really that easy to think yourself in a great situation then why aren’t we all in a great situation?

            Are people really seeing themselves in bad situations? I think in some cases yes and in others no. Because personally I know a lot of negative people that are not only negative about themselves but others. And of course they are in bad situations. But it’s hard to see the rewards of people that think positively.

            A lot of successful people do say that you need a few things to be successful and great. The first thing they say is you have to believe in yourself. You have to dream of what you want to become. Every day you have to live it, you have to see it, visualize it. I do this. It actually becomes an obsession almost. I don’t know if that’s healthy. But it’s what I do.

            In the morning, I get up and write and think of stories. When I’m at work I think of stories, I may even sneak and write in the bathroom. I even had a dream about writing stories a few nights ago. It’s really crazy. But to me it’s this or nothing and I have put that into my mind. I have etched this into my mind like I’ve done only a few others things in life. I believe in this and if I believe in something so strongly I know other people will too.
           
            How much do you want it? Do you want it so bad that it hurts for you to think about doing anything else? Do you want something so bad that you are willing to drop everything else for a chance at it? This is what separates the dedicated and successful from the wannabe’s. I don’t want to just say I want to be something; I want my actions to say it as well.

            As I always say, everyone can talk but how many of us are willing to dedicate blood, sweat and tears for it? Let’s talk but let’s lead too. Let’s create some goals. Even if it is one goal. Let’s try and reach them. I know I am.

            As always,

Much love.

The Juciy Details

xoxo         
              


Sunday, March 20, 2011

Is it fair to be jealous?

I see people doing what I am not capable of doing at the moment and sometimes ever. I get angry and sometimes borderline jealous. I am not the jealous type. If I see that you’re doing your thing I will praise you and want to get with you so that you can teach me how to do my thing. I won’t try and vindictively be your friend so that I can crush you where you stand because I am envious of your success.
To me, Jealousy and envy are a little different from one another. Envy is where you’re totally infatuated with a person. You’re so into their business that you forget about your own. You always try to seek and dig up dirt on that person because you believe in your head that they don’t deserve what they have. But deep down inside you would love to be in their position. Kind of sick if you think about it.
And everyone wants to be the person who is envied. Because if people envy you then guess what, you’re probably doing what you need to do in life. Unfortunately, there are delirious people in our world that really believe that someone actually cares enough to envy them. I know a few personally. They are always saying how people are hating on them and how everyone has their name in their mouth. And I just look at them.    
I want to say to them: sweetie, you have no home, you have no car, you have a trillion kids, you don’t go to school, you dress horribly and you don’t look that good. Who in their right mind would be envious of you?! Because frankly, you are just not that important.
But I am a nice person, I listen and nod every once in a while.
I transgress. Is it ok for me to talk to a girl and hear that she is getting everything she wants from her husband and actually be a little jealous of her life? I am thinking that I have to bust my butt every day at work while everyone else gets to enjoy their weekend. I am thinking that why couldn’t I be in a position to get taken care of by a man.
Is it ok for me to get jealous when I hear that her man is taking her all over the world on lavish trips while I sit at home and watch cable? What about a woman who is pursuing her career and doing what she wants to do when she wants to do it while I sit at work tied down by financial restraints? Is that fair?
Every time I find myself drifting into that state of envy I have to pull myself back for a second. I have to ask myself, is this person 100 percent happy or do they as well have faults? Does this person wish they had certain attributes that I have? And what am I doing in my life to get to where that certain person is? Or better yet how am I paving my own future?
When I answer these questions truthfully then I can fully understand that there is no reason to be jealous or envious of others. Because we all want to be someone else. We all want to run away and start over again so we can have the future we think we deserve. If only this and if only that. We say it all the time but we can’t change what’s been done. We can’t change destiny. We chose the path that we’re are living.
We need to understand that we all have free will and there is either path A or path B. The path we take is where we are headed and we can always change courses but it still won’t undo what we have created. It will only change the future path of where we are going. That’s the most important thing I need to ask myself: Where am I going?  And it’s what you need to ask yourself as well.
Keep it real with yourself. You’re the realest person that you’ll ever meet.
Much love,

The Juicy Details

xoxoxo

     

Monday, March 14, 2011

Overcoming Adversity…

I am the kind of person who doesn’t take well to people having problems with me for no reason. I am very well opinionated and I speak my mind. If I see something wrong, I will probably say something. Unless I don’t care at the moment. But if I see something or someone that’s going against my beliefs and morals then I will raise my hand and say “Excuse me”.

Some people don’t like that. Especially in the workplace. And I have noticed that Black women who are in a management position are threatened by other Black woman who are strong willed. They actually try and get you fired. They ride you like a horse and they want you to bow down to them.

I’m not the one.

I go to my job to work, not be disrespected and not talked about. Yes, this is a personal story people.

The woman at my job is trying to test me. And with my personality it is so hard to bow my head and obey. Every time she tells me not to do things that other people are doing. I cringe a little on the inside.

One day I got so angry that I began to cry. It’s that serious. Everyone on the floor can tell this monster is trying to break me. And what have I done to her? Absolutely nothing. When I first saw her I seen her sizing me up, ever since that day she has had an attitude towards me. Yesterday, she threatened to tell her boss on me. I said whoa. The lady is messing with my money.

I just want to take a 2x4 and beat her in the face with it (yes, I’m violent). All my life I had to fight for what I’ve gotten. This life is not easy. I shouldn’t have to go to work and walk on eggshells. Hello, it’s not that serious! I do my job; I respect the employees and the bosses. I’m not there to be her pet.

 One of the guys I worked with came in the break room after she dogged me out once again and said, “Damn. She is a bitch.”

I said to him, “Ya’ think.”

And everyone lets her act this way because she has been there for many years. That’s fine but it’s getting over bearing.

Why am I so threatening to her? I don’t even speak to the woman. I have to give myself a pep talk every time I go and she is there.

But what she doesn’t know is that people like her got me to where I am now. People like her, young and old got me through college. People like her made me have the values and beliefs I have today. People like her made me stronger. People like her like to challenge and break others down for their own enjoyment.

Honey, I’m not the one. I’m here to pay my bills. I’m not here to be your friend let alone your servant. See because like you, I don’t plan on being there for 30 years. Because like you I don’t have to tear down other people at this lousy establishment. Because like you, I have goals.      

Today, I go to work with my head up. Today, I write the pages to my novel. Today, I come from work and I’m still me.

To all the people out there who have been beaten, abused and torn down by others keep your head up.

Don’t let them win.


The Juicy Details,


xoxoxo



Saturday, March 5, 2011

The Dilemma

This is a poem I wrote for class. It is totally fictional and it is a rhyming narrative poem. Enjoy.

The Dilemma

How will I get through this?
One idea is a hit and the other a miss.
Before him, I got no attention.
My name, my significant other forget to mention,
To his filthy, money hungry, street whore.
I guess, after 3 children, I became a bore.
But what he didn’t know was what I had in store,
For him and his mistress.
Oh, goody, I couldn’t wait for their demise and distress
While she pressed her body against his,
I sat home with the kids, while we miss
Daddy’s presence.
Daddy’s presents.
I was a master mind with no boundaries, and had a plan.
And no, it didn’t include another man.
While he was unaware,
I lurked in the shadows to prepare.   
The kids were at the baby sitter
While I went to fulfill the plot with old mister.
There was no going back, the death of a kiss.
He surely wouldn’t be missed.
I snuck around the back way,
Where the adulterer and whore lay.
I walked into the door with no fear,
On my face a wicked sneer.
I opened the door to see his face
And I pulled a hand gun out with utmost grace.
A bullet went through her heart
Like a bulls eye and a pointy dart.
He yelled and pleaded
But the love in my heart had already retreated.
He put his hand out and said, “Baby, don’t do this?”
I put one through his heart, and gave him one last kiss. 

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

Judgment and Criticism: The Thin Line Between Just Being Plain Disrespectful

Greetings on this glorious morning. To my few readers, how you doing? (Wendy Williams Voice). I am writing this short piece before I begin work on my book. I am on chapter four now. Glee!
            Today I want to talk about judgment and criticism from other people. One is an opinion. And the other is a disapproval of something, someone. Everyone has a right to their own opinions, we all come from different walks of life and were raised with separate values. And that’s ok. But then there are others that are the most low-down, most negative and judgmental people you ever heard or seen. And they are the main ones that are doing what they are criticizing you for. Not cool.
            This life and world are full of criticisms. And each one we should not reject. Some of them are coming from people we love, people we don’t know and some people that we don’t want to know. It’s your choice whether or not you want to look in it or find some truth. When a teacher puts tons of red marks on your paper, he is not trying to be mean he is giving you constructive criticism. When your friend pulls you to the side and says that your all up in someone’s face and you need to cool it down, its constructive criticism. They are doing it to help you, not hinder you.  
            And that is the main difference between disrespectful judgment and constructive criticism; one is vindictive and the other is to see you succeed.
            People like me, don’t take criticisms well. In my mind, if I don’t like you, your known for doing the exact opposite of what you preach and your life is in shambles, I turn the other cheek. And if you persist you may get a few words (clears throat).
            In my mind most people who have something to say to you about something you’re doing all the time, is what I like to call a hater. This term is used interchangeably through modern day society. This word is not to be used lightly. When I call someone a hater, it’s because they are. It’s the one (or two) person who will always have something to say about what you’re doing. No matter if it is wrong. No matter if it’s right. They will always pass judgment about it.
            Some of them even go as far as to pass their judgment and criticisms on you behind your back and most popularly on the computer screen. Very indirect and indiscrete. I wonder sometimes how we would ever get by without bashing people on the internet without Facebook. But I diverge.
            So these “people” are talking about your every move; the way you talk, the way you dress, who you hang out with, what you do for a living. It’s like wow; they are really trying to make an auto-biography about you. Because gosh, they just know so much about you. And they seem so interested about what you’re doing while usually their lives are crumbling away.
            I see this so much. And I noticed that the more someone criticized and bashed other people the more that person had good friends and even mates leaving them. No one wants to be around that. And they live their lives in denial about it. They seem to think and believe that it’s acceptable to judge you harshly even though they are probably doing the same or less.
            Some people just hate to see you happy. They want you to be miserable like them, so they will try all their tricks to get you the same as them. Misery loves company. They won’t say go for it, instead they will say, “Why you want to do that for, that’s dumb.”
            One time I was talking about finishing up college a few years ago and two people (I won’t say names but they were females) they said so many negative things about it. I was shocked. How many negative things can you say about something that’s positive like getting an education? Luckily for me those people got the cut.
            You are the weakest link. Good bye.
            There are too many people out here that are doing the exact same things as you. They are willing to support your ideas and your lifestyle. Go find them. Travel. Take new classes that interest you. You will find them. People who are not going to support you mentally, physically and socially has to get the cut.
            Their goal in life is to bring you disease. I’ve been there, done that. Rid yourself of them before it’s too late. And I mean family too. Keep your distance if you can’t rid them. If its constant negativity and criticism from your spouse or family then you need to reconsider some things in your life. What are your priorities and where do these people fit it?
  
Much love,

The Juicy Details

xoxo